Showing posts from 2017

Before You Give This Holiday Season - Read This

  The Holiday Season is upon us! I love this time of year. The smells. The sounds. The hustle and bustle. The late night traffic as everyone is out buying gifts. The parties. The food. The magic. Whatever you believe and whatever the reason is for your celebrations this time of year, there is no denying that there is magic in the air. People are nicer. More generous. We actually talk to each other. We say things like "Have a good holiday!" "Merry Christmas!" "Happy Hanukah!" I love it. But I haven't always loved it. This time of year was often stressful for me. It was a constant reminder of what I couldn't do. What I couldn't give. What I couldn't provide. That I could work 50 hours a week and still not be able to afford Christmas. Or I could afford Christmas, but then I couldn't pay any bills. I hated this time of year. The commercials of all the damn toys - and then hearing my boys beg and beg and I'd nod like a big-fat-li

Why Now?

This entry can also be read on the Scary Mommy It's Personal website by clicking the link below: Why now? Why are all these women coming forward now? Why wait so long? Why not report it right away? Because: Until 1948 women were not allowed to be bartenders unless their father or husband owned the establishment. Until 1963 women could legally be paid less than their male counterparts in the exact same position - (Trump actually reinstated something very similar this year). Until 1972 unmarried women could be denied birth control. Until 1973 Roe V Wade - Enough said. Until 1974 pregnant women could be discriminated against in the workplace. Until 1974 women were denied mortgages, bank accounts, and loans based on their gender. Until 1978 it was legal to require female employees to be under a certain weight. Until 1981 men had sole control of joint marital property. Until 1999 women were not gu

Learning to Dance in the Rain by Tony Marschinke

The pride and gratefulness I have in regards to the relationship I have with my brother Tony is incomprehensible. He is a champion. He is trailblazer. He is, in short, one of my favorite people. I am 13 years his senior but we are the best of friends. He loves to write and I love to read his writing. He's had to overcome some setback throughout his life and reinvent himself a million times over. He was born into an extremely conservative family and community which proved to be a hurdle that he not only overcame but completely demolished. I always say that he is the best thing that happened to our family. He changed the way we saw people and the world. He taught us what unconditional love means. I am honored and proud to publish this piece that he wrote. He's been sitting on it for a while and finally had the courage to post it and wanted to do so on my blog. I'm ecstatic to do so. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did. xo - Nicky   I

How To NOT Rape People

This post can also be seen on Scary Mommy here! Hey there! Are you trying to figure out how NOT to rape people? If so, you've come to the right place. I have compiled a list of some basic rules you should follow in order to maintain some peace in our civilized culture. In light of the recent events consisting of sexual assault in Hollywood, it has made me realize that these types of events are probably WAY more common than most people think. We only hear about the high profile ones. We don't hear about Ben down the street that has been harassing and assaulting God knows how many men or women over the span of a decade, do we? Nope. We only hear about the ones that make headlines. So to help some of you who seem to be confused about what is appropriate versus inappropriate, I am going to spell it out for you. I promise to make it clear, concise, and to the point. This should be easy to follow. If this leaves you confused,

How Do You Do It?

Edited to add: This was an entry I originally wrote for a website called Your Formula For Life. This piece and others can be found at How do you do it? That's the million dollar question, isn't it? It's the question I get asked most frequently as a full-time working mom of five. As working moms we know that the slightest hiccup in our morning can mean we are drastically late for work. The smallest traffic delay can mean missing our kids football game. We run a pretty tight ship and every minute is accounted for. If you're a type A kind of person chances are you have this down to a science, Congratulations! I happen to be somewhere in between Type A and Type B. I definitely lean more towards B which does not make me super tidy and organized. I forget things, I lose things, I often set things down in bizarre spots and then freak out when I can't find them. And for a busy working mom with lots of little people to manage and k

A PSA by yours truly

It's that time of year again! BACK TO SCHOOL! Just the mere mention of it makes me start to panic. Some of us prepare all year long, slowly accumulating school supplies, backpacks, we even buy last seasons winter clothing in a size up, in anticipation of impending fall weather. (For the record- I am not this mom.) Some of us wait until the last minute and hurriedly gather up whatever left over notebooks and folders are available- "Sorry for the Little Mermaid folders, middle-schooler. That's all they had left". (For the record - I am this mom.) Some of us dread this time of year. It is a HUGE expense for some families. It is an expense that isn't in the budget but needs to be because no one wants to be the parent that sends their kids to school with only half the stuff on the school supply list, ripped shoes, and old worn out clothes. Unfortunately, some of us are that parent. Once upon a time, not that long ago I was that parent. A single mom of three

As the birds leave the nest...

I'm having some serious mom-anxiety today. We often hear of and talk about the anxiety of being a new parent. And that is admittedly an anxious time for a parent. No doubt. You are expected to keep a tiny little human alive and breathing and eating, all while getting like 43 minutes of sleep a day. No big whoop, right? Right. But let me shine a little light on the anxiety of parenting a big kid. Today our oldest started high school football at a new school in a new city with new coaches and new teammates. Mondays are Dad's day with the five. I work day shift every Monday so of course I felt a pang of guilt for not being around today. As a working-mom this kind of thing makes my anxiety sky rocket. Even though I love my career and my husband is 100% capable of doing all the parenting things, anytime I miss anything that involves the children I start to feel the guilt that our society places upon working-moms far too often.   It also doesn't help that just a

Puppy Love

Many of you reading this knew my friend, Chris Cahoon. And most of you know that he and I were very close friends. Just friends. Seriously. No one ever believed us and people always thought there was something going on, but the truth of the matter is, we were friends. I wouldn't hesitate to call him my "best guy friend". He was exactly what I needed at a really rough time in my life. I treasured him and his friendship more than he probably ever knew. In 2012 I met and started dating my now husband. I was 32 years old, a single mother of three and had been a single mom for a long time. Chris was skeptical of Robert at first, like most people. Heck, I was even skeptical. Chris was big-brother like in wanting to protect me. But he was very supportive and always asked me how it was going and wanted to know that I was happy. And I was. I was finally happy. And Chris was happy  for me and that was really important to me. Some time later, Chris text me about a girl he had met

Day 31.

It's called the Whole30. So technically - I'm done. I did it. I ate only whole foods for 30 days straight. Not even a drop of coffee creamer or sugar or grains**. Man, that was a long 30 days. To start with it felt like 30 days would take forever. But now that I crossed the finish line it feels like it went by so fast! **On Day 27 my littles were eating popcorn during movie night. Maso can't eat the crunchy hull part so normally I bite off that part and give him the soft, puffy part. That night I wasn't paying attention and I did eat 4 pieces of the crunch hull part. I didn't even realize I was doing it until I had done it a few times. That is my only cheat of the 30 days and it was not something I set out to do. However, I want to be honest and admit it. I don't count that as a fail, though many die hard Whole30'ers would. I was just being a mom. ha. And it just goes to show how mindless eating can be. Ok, so now that that's off my chest:  I feel


Sometimes as moms we crave validation. This can come in a variety of forms and I suspect the value of it is different for everyone. I can only speak for myself though, so maybe you're a mom that doesn't need it or like it. Whatevs. To each, their own. But today I had one of those moments where you realize that between the tantrums and messes and laundry and sports, this whole momming thing we signed up for, is actually making a difference in these little minds that we're molding. Today I'm working a 13 hour shift which I'm totally OK with because it means I get a whole bunch of days off this week (2) AND the weekend! I was up pretty early to be to work by 7:30am. As I was getting ready for work the babies and Andrew were awake and doing their usual morning things: eating all the cereal they could get their hands on (Andrew) and following me around while I get ready for work (AB and Mase). I headed down the stairs to the landing and shut the baby gate behind me. AB