They Have To Sleep Eventually

Her shirt has been changed. Her hair pulled back. Her little face is all I can think about when I reflect on this election. Of course my boys stand to gain or lose tremendously (depending on the outcome), as well. But, her. She bears the brunt of this. She is part of a future, part of a legacy that has been paved by women before her and before me. I hope she has more opportunity than I had. I hope she never feels stuck in a relationship or marriage or career because she is a woman and "You have no choice". Those are words I heard an AWFUL lot in the early stages of my adult life. I hope she knows she can do and be ANYTHING she wants. I hope her dad, her brothers, and I always model a behavior that is conducive to her success. That we speak kindly about each other and others. I hope we teach her to accept all people for who they are; regardless of race, religion, sexuality, or gender. I hope she never has to leave her babies and return to work before any of them are ready

Sleep much? No?  Me either. Chances are if you have two or more children at least one of them isn't a good sleeper.  I know parents who have one child and that child is a dreamboat sleeper. And then they have another baby and that kid is also a dreamboat sleeper. However, I know  very few moms with more than two kids who have all dreamboat sleepers. I'm sure they exist and are out there, somewhere - and I'm happy for them, really I am. (Insert fake smile) But many parents have one or two or more crap-tastic sleepers and for those of us in that camp, this post is for you.   (If you're one of the parents that has had a couple great sleepers, go ahead and read up on what's in store for you if you choose to roll the dice of sleep again) I have five children. Ugh. That sounds like so many, doesn't it? Well, it is. Of my five, two have been terrible-awful-horrible-why-do-you-hate-me-sleepers; baby #1 and baby #5 (my current sleep fighting ninja). What did I do

Anyone who knows me knows I have a deep seeded love for pizza. Frozen, fresh, take and bake, deep dish, thin crust, Chicago style, NY style, I don't care. If I had to choose one food for the rest of my life - hands down it would be pizza.  It's my favorite thing. Right up there with coffee. Today, I have a cold. It's the kind of cold that you can feel coming on a week ahead of time. The kind that starts out as just your throat feeling scratchy and dry. The kind that starts as a nagging headache and overall "foggy" feeling. The kind that couples with extreme tiredness - although I'm not sure if that is baby related or sickness related. No one will ever know at the rate Mason is going. I just might experience extreme tiredness for the rest of my life. Anyway, this cold has now morphed into a full blown illness. Congestion. Achy. Coughing. Oh my God, the coughing. Anyone who has had children knows the EXTREME terror we all feel when we need to cough. It has b

"When is your baby due?" Those words are forever etched into my brain - burned - is maybe a better term. I've heard them many times throughout my five pregnancies and beyond. Under normal circumstances pregnant moms hear this question a bazillion times and never wary of answering (OK, maybe we get a little sick of it towards the end). Pregnancy, after all, is very exciting. But what if you're not pregnant and someone asks you this question? I had just had my fifth baby and was four and half months post-partum when a woman asked me when I was due. I had to return back to work when my youngest was nine weeks old. Nothing really fit yet and my boobs were gigantic because I was breastfeeding. I had just joined Weight Watchers (one of the only breastfeeding friendly weight loss programs out there) and had started to workout somewhat regularly. I lost 13 additional pounds that previous month - so I was down a total of 43 pounds since giving birth and was starting to 

I am a calm individual 95% of the time - actually, my husband would probably dispute that. ha. Truth be told I have five kids and my life is in general chaos ALL. THE. TIME. So I feel like it takes a lot to get me riled up. But alas, I am human and at some point, I can guarantee you, I'm going to lose my sh*t. All moms do - don't EVEN bother telling me that you don't, Sanctimommy, because you do. We all do. I yell, and scream, and freak the f-word out. It doesn't happen often - but I've had a couple doozies that leave the kids looking at me like I grew 2 heads. Lose My Sh*t L evel 1: Dirty Diapers  The dirty diaper makers! Edit: Annabelle (26 months) is now fully potty-trained! The actual existence of dirty diapers does not make me lose my sh*t. Dirty diapers are inevitable. However, our two youngest babies share a room and in their room is what I call "The Changing Station". It's actually a built-in desk (this sounds a lot cool